Gus Bickerstaff
from Fancyclopedia 2
(Vin Clarke) "Not to know Bickerstaff is tantamount to being unaware of the number of beans required to make five", says Paul Enever plonkingly. "Everyone at the White Horse knows Bickerstaff. Is he not the gentleman due to buy a round whenever no one else is willing? It is Bickerstaff who botches the interior illos, who puts the psoriasis adverts alongside the feature story title, who axes all the most interesting shorts from the BREs. For years Bickerstaff has been responsible for the regular nonappearance of our favorite zines. Bickerstaff beats us to that priceless copy of a mint V1N1 Amz offered in all the obscurest second-hand bookshops — and beats us only by the shortest of heads. Bickerstaff waylays the postman and extracts the urgent letter our correspondent assures us he posted. Bickerstaff is the patron saint of strikeovers and obliterine. Bickerstaff is omniscient and omnipresent."